I’m currently 10k USD in debt.

“It’s responsible that you take a part-time now.”

“I think you’re too focused, your thoughts are muddled.”

One year in, I started losing people. Those who once admired what I did started trying to convince me to slow down and wake up from the dreams.

The truth is that they are right, I can not rationally explain my decisions. I can not defend or justify why I am doing what I am doing.

I just can’t. I’m an idiot. I don’t understand anything and I’m incapable.

But I have always been so and I don’t think I’ll stop.

I love what I’m doing. I have decided that til the day I get jailed for not being able to pay back the debt, I try – again and again.

Life is not comprehensible, and if you have decided to take this path, there is no justification you need to do for anybody.

Life is fundamentally a perception of existence that is from and for the existence. (Please refer to Stephen Hawking’s anthropic principle – this statement is an extension of the idea that “the ways that the universe might be observed to be are limited by the fact that observation requires the existence of observers. It is impossible to observe a universe that does not permit the existence of observers” and I like to angle this in a way that the meaning of life lies in the loop of observation – thus the meaning itself is neither more fundamental nor dimensionally higher – supporting the slightly nihilistic view below)

Your great philosophy and beliefs are nothing more than just a set of vectorizable (thus extremely simple) electrical discharge (again – just a few electrons relocating) between your braincells.

Thus life is great, for you are not bound by anything. Be brave and go live.